Awaken the giant in me

I remember not too long ago, a friend of mine told me about a book and how the book had change her life. She also told me a life changing experience. That time I thought, how ironic. Its not that I don't believe in such book, but is the person's who told me her experience. Now, to think back, i feel ashame to have such thought on her. No people should judge others except his/her own. Looking back at my own life, it is not so great either. Sometimes, I must say I makes my life looks excited, but the truth I feel like i have no control of my life. I feel like I am on a roller coster ride. And when I am in the middle of this, it suddenly hit me, I have no more & 'giant' in me. I have no more passion in life. I don't think about the future anymore, no 5 years plan, no more target to achieve. I suddenly realise where the Adriana that I know? The one full with fire, passion & motivation drive? I feel like I am going backward! I am turning myself into the young naive Adriana when I used to work in Parlo Tours. All I know is to depend on him. I am holding the edge of my life. I am rethinking over. What will happen when he is not there for me? I always walk down the memory lane of my past success. Why so? Is it because there is no glory days now? I am dangerously standing at the edge of the fallen. What should I do to re-awake the giant in me?

Everytime I feel like we are doing alright, it will take turn to bad. I woder when are we going to the next level? or am I always going to be in this level? Why other people got their chance, but not me? Do you think I am not ready yet? What should I do?